


Vivisection

by 0ra0ra0ra



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, References to Depression, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29534970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0ra0ra0ra/pseuds/0ra0ra0ra
Summary: viv·i·sec·tion/ˌvivəˈsekSH(ə)n/noun1.ruthlessly sharp and detailed criticism or analysis.--or, sammy can only think of how much is wrong with him.
Kudos: 1





	Vivisection

**Author's Note:**

> he's baaaaaack and he's more depressed than ever
> 
> i'm so sorry v why do i do this

sammy has been here many times before. laying in a pool of his own blood, trash pillowing his head, as he has a rare moment of introspection. his vision is blurred, but he can see the stars bleeding through the night sky. everything hurts, but that's how it's supposed to be. he used to look up at the stars when he was younger. back then, they didn't streak and blend together like they do now. if he didn't know any better, he'd think the angels in heaven were weeping for him. however, he knows he's not worthy of a mercy like that. he deserves every punishment he seeks out. he's awful, disgusting even. he should just die, but he can't. 

god says it's not his time yet, even though he pines for it like he's seconds from it. ever since his parents' murder, god has kept him on this earth. sammy has taken it to mean he deserves punishment. so he seeks it out, from alleyway beatdowns, to red tears streaking down his arm into the shower drain. as he lays amongst the trash, he can only think that this is all he deserves. he was a coward, so god is displaying his sins. 

eventually, against his will and aching muscles, he peels himself from the ground and stumbles home. it's empty, in shambles. it's not even a home. all he feels when he steps inside that tiny apartment is dread. he kicks off his shoes, at least, before he slams his bathroom door open and turns the cold water on. he doesn't bother undressing, just steps into the stream of water and sinks to the floor. under the shower of water, he can pass off the salty taste on his lips as the shitty water, instead of it being his own tears of self-hatred.


End file.
